Above is the best inflatable alligator to use for this which I could find on Amazon. The others had their mouths closed. Here’s the link. The image is not to scale.
There are lots of Trump dolls that you could use, but this is the only one I found which is large enough.
This is part of what I wrote yesterday in “Biden had Elton John entertain on the White House lawn. Trump wants to have a UFC fight. What's next, gladiators fighting to the death?”
Prior to alligators, Trump’s bloodiest obsession was with Hannibal Lector (see Donald Trump Explains Why He Keeps Praising Hannibal Lecter.)
Now Trump seems obessesed with alligators. He might wish he could stage to the death alligator wrestling fights between immigrants and hungry giant gators. He’d rather put political enemies in a pit with a ravenous gator, but Trump wouldn't dare do this even though it would be a delicious fantasy for him. He wouldn’t want to literally eat Adam Schiff or Gavin Newsom for dinner with a side of fava beans (click here if you don’t get it and for the hidden joke click here); but he would probably would enjoy watching an alligator eat them.
These Trump pleasing battles with toothsome reptiles wouldn’t be the tame type you’d see at a park like Gatorland (right below). They’d be like the AI illustration below (left).
Unlike sharks, which are a huge part of popular culture (movies like Jaws and Sharknado for example), and scientific study, alligators just haven’t captured the public imagination. How many of these alligator movies have you heard of? Of course there’s Crocodile Dundee, but the movie was mostly set in New York and didn’t have any crocs.
Alligators and crocodiles are interesting creatures (see article) , but prior to Trump they made the news only when someone had an encounter with one on a golf course or their front lawn. Then the weirdest president in American history (maybe in world history, move over Caligula) proposed putting them in the Rio Grand to deter immigrants from crossing the river. That sadistic notion didn’t catch on as newsworthy for very long, but certainly his latest bloodthirsty fantasy has.
The more you know about the comparison with the actual Alcatraz compared with the one in the Everglades the more you see that it is not escape proof. All an inmate has to do is get through whatever fencing there is, avoid detection and make it into the swamp. Then they have to make their way to Ochobee, about 25 miles west along Tamiami Trail or the Miccosukee Indian Village about 10 miles southeast or another nearby town and blessed dry land. (More about the location here.)
It would be a lot easier to wade through a swamp which probably has sections of land and avoid alligators than swim 1 ¼ miles in 55 degree water with currents up to 6 knots from Alcatraz to San Francisco. (Some have tried.)
Alligators are not particularly interested in eating people. They eat mostly fish, birds, turtles, snakes, and small mammals. Pythons, although Trump may think otherwise, they wouldn’t be a problem.
If anyone makes an alligator eating a Trump doll inflatable, please take a photo and I will add it to this Substack and on a subsequent Substack. I will do the same if I end up doing this. Meanwhile feel free to post my illustration on social media.
