He says he got more votes than any sitting president by far in 2022. He also says he's an innocent man. He's innocent, he tells us, he's innocent. Soooo innocent!
Everything he was accused of doing wrong was a hoax, a hoax, all a big hoax... a big scam so the Democrats can win an election.
Oh, and he's always putting America first. America, mind you, not himself.
I'm not making it up. You can hear him say these things here.
Come on unbelievers. Trump is just a regular guy. Sure he lives in a house with a big chandelier in the bathroom where he happens to store stolen secret documents...
... but then again he loves his KFC and Diet Cokes so he must be a regular guy just like you.